Monthly Archives: October 2010

The New Retirement – Work for Life

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For various reasons, many of us will continue to work after retirement. We may want to work in our senior years to stay busy, we may need to work to replace savings lost in recent years, the choice to work after retirement may be ours to make or out of our control. A research study by Friends Provident found51 per cent of UK workers plan to keep working after reaching the minimum retirement age, their main motivation being a desire to stay active after retiring.  “More and more, Americans are choosing to be ‘unretired,’ that is, continue to work full- or part-time after the age when they are eligible to receive full Social Security benefits.”  Regardless of whether these decisions are the result of personal choice or not, the Center for retirement Research at Boston College recently calculated a very scary number representing the gap between where retirement savings should be today and where they actually are. The total deficit was determined to be $6.6 trillion dollars. In many cases, it is no longer a question of why work after retiring – the bottom line is you have to.

The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination. ~ Marion Zimmer Bradley

But do not despair! You have worked all of your life and made it to retirement however it may be defined today. There were many positives in your career from the people you worked with to the feeling of accomplishment that came with a job well done. It is not unreasonable to think that some of these same positives can become part of your new retirement career. The trick is to distill the situation to the point where most of the negatives are done away with and you are left with a pleasant, even enjoyable job after retirement.

How to make the best job for your retirement career

If you reach  the conclusion that after you retire you want to work or that you need to work, do not simply resign yourself to a retirement career that is boring or abusive. Over your career, you have honed and perfected many skills. You know what it takes to get the job done and have built a record of successful achievements to prove it. Leverage your background as you make your move back into the working world. Here are a few ideas to help along the way.

1.    Self analysis – no one knows your likes and dislikes better than you so take some time to contemplate what you like to do, what you are good at, what you can do, and what you want to do. Do you work best left to your own devices or do you prefer guidance from a supervisor? Do you prefer to work alone on projects or are you happier in a team environment? Is learning something new and exciting or intimidating for you? Are you a creative force or do you prefer to follow predefined processes? Do you work better at a specific time of day?  As a senior citizen, we may be physically limited as to what we can manually do in a job so that also becomes a consideration.

2.    Analysis of the company – what kind of company and work environment do you want to engage with? Do you prefer a large or small company? Do you want to follow the same career path you were on or do you want to try something new? Is there a particular industry that you want to pursue? What kind of corporate culture is to your liking? Some companies are very formal and political, others more open-door-policy and free-wheeling. How far are you willing to commute? Remember the time spent in transit is a real cost in terms of time away from your family and life.

Once you have a good profile of the type of company you would like to work for, you can start building a list of likely candidates. To dig in deeper, a trip to the corporate website is an excellent starting point. You can find a lot of information by reviewing the company page, reading through press releases, reading executive biographies, and navigating the various products and services. Check social feedback by visiting Twitter or Social Mention or Google. Visit your LinkedIn account and see if you know anyone who has worked or is currently working at the company. There is no better way to check on a company than to talk with someone who has worked there. You want to get an understanding of what it is like to work there before you sign on.

3.    Work toward a defined goal – if you are working after retirement because you want to, your goal is being met. If you are working to improve your financial situation, it is helpful to set specific goals for your retirement career.  Maybe you want to add $X to your savings account. Focus on that, track your progress and reward yourself when you get there. Smaller goals along the way help to keep you on track as you achieve them one after another. If your ultimate goal is to get back to retired life and not work, calculate the amount you need to save to provide you with the additional cash you require. When you get to that number, I hope that all things will be in alignment and you can retire for real! If you can do this and if you want to do this, be careful to avoid getting sucked back into the working rut chasing more dollars than you really need.

4.    Positive attitude – how you choose to face each day in your retirement career is a big determinant of what kind of a day you can expect. It is easy to be happy when you are off to do what you want to do. But even if you are not so lucky, try to think of the good things in your life and enjoy what you do. Work is not always a picnic but how you choose to deal with challenges in your day is mostly up to you. If at all possible, stay positive. Your smile may be the one that turns someone else bad day around!

Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but must accept his lot calmly if they even roll a few more upon it. ~ Albert Schweitzer

No one said life was going to be easy. There are no guarantees that each of us will live a perfect retirement life. This New Retirement Career can be viewed as a curse or a blessing.  In the right work environment, doing what you want to be doing, chances are you will be just fine. So why settle for less?

Don’t forget to pick up a free copy of my Navigating the Retirement Jungle, available upon request by mailing to lovebeingretired@hotmail.com.


Best Friend Forever – Secret to Healthy Aging

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The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~ Elizabeth Foley

What does it take to be a best friend? Stop for a moment and think about who is that person you consider to be your best friend. What is it about this particular individual that so wins you over that you confidently bestow upon them the crown and scepter of best friend? How long have they held this important position in your life? And how lucky are you to have such a supportive, encouraging, helpful individual at your side as you walk your path of life?

In retired life, our best friend can be an important link to our sanity and happiness. With the free time that retirement brings as well as the challenges we face with aging, a best friend who has been with us and is going through the same experiences is a friend indeed. That number one friend is who we turn to no matter what the situation and get honest feedback without fear of being judged. Sometimes, our best friend helps us through a difficult patch by actively doing something and other times by doing nothing at all. Consistently focusing on what is best for us, truly for our own good, is a delicate balancing-act that only one privy to our real feelings and true motivations can hope to maintain. Whether we are in the right or in the wrong, our best friend will be straight with us because she can. She is the person with whom our defenses are down, our heart is open, and our honesty is pure. More than anyone else, she is our BEST friend.

Friendship is a sheltering tree. ~ Samuel Coleridge

Looking at my wife (which I love to do each and every chance I get!), I find a combination of strength, wisdom, patience, good humor, and love that helps to keep me sane, smiling, and just plain happy to be alive. Each day together is a blessing which we consciously appreciate and we are so perfect for each other that friends and family often roll their eyes in amazement. No doubt about it, she is my Best Friend Forever (or as the kids text, BFF). If I take a step back and consider what it is about her and the way she treats me and our relationship, there are a few key elements that I believe are shared by all of our Best Friends Forever.

  • Keep our secrets – what happens between us and our best friend STAYS between us and our best friend. This is the basis of the trust that allows us to safely open up and share our deepest feelings. If we have to cautiously qualify what we share we would too often skirt the real issues. Since we can speak openly with no fear of what we say going beyond our BFF, real matters can be addressed while a course of action is formulated.
  • Know all of our “buttons” – best friends know what makes us tick. They have been through a lot with us and because of that, our pet peeves and frustrations and sensitive areas as well as our happy places are common knowledge. In the rare event that an argument may arise or a heated moment occurs, our BFF will not go to those places. Knowing what are our weak spots and understanding how deeply felt our feelings in those areas can be, our “buttons” are off limits.
  • Rational thinker – in a moment of passion, when we are not thinking clearly, our best friend is there to settle things down and encourage us to take a deep breath. She is our safe port in a violent storm of irrational and emotional waves. And should someone inadvertently push one of our “buttons”, she can quickly step in to diffuse the situation knowing that the seemingly insignificant offense in fact runs deeply. With her guidance, we see that it is not the end of the world, there is a solution to be found, and together, we will find it. Just take her hand and follow her lead.
  • Encouraging when things get bad – best friends are there to lift us up when the rest of the world weighs heavily on our shoulders. Optimism is her middle name and nothing makes her happier than turning a frown upside down. Listening, understanding, sympathizing, and eventually suggesting a way out of our funk, our BFF gets us back on our feet in no time at all. And she does not give up until we get there!
  • Always ready with a hug – that pretty much says it all.

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. ~ Marlene Deitrich

Best Friends Forever. Where would we be without our Best Friend? Who knows us better and yet loves us still? We should be thankful for Best Friends and appreciate them in our lives. We have come this far together and helped each other in many ways that we may not even be consciously aware of. By being there and caring, no strings attached. But hey, what are Best Friends for?

Don’t forget to pick up a free copy of my Navigating the Retirement Jungle, available upon request by mailing to lovebeingretired@hotmail.com.


From a Senior Citizen Point of View

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Do you ever wonder what goes through the mind of a senior citizen as they deal with the rapid and unpredictable everyday life surrounding them? What is the thought process they go through, heavily influenced by the lives they lived and the times in which they lived? Each of us has our own point of view which heavily impacts how we relate to others and our environment. With 70 or 80 or more years behind them, is there a “typical” point of view for a senior citizen?

As we age and move to retirement, the life changes we will experience are to put it mildly, monumental. We cannot ignore simple realities as discussed earlier in Accepting Aging. When we retire, we abruptly exit the working world that has been the focus of our lives for 30 or 40 years or more. We are now responsible for what we will do for the rest of our lives – each day – including everything from meeting financial requirements to maintaining our health to keeping mentally engaged and ultimately enjoying being retired. A full dance card for sure. Those around us need to be aware that we are dealing with all of this for the first time with no prior experience to lean on. Any insight into what retired seniors may be going through can help.

People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within. ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

A glimpse from the senior point of view

Frustration – after a lifetime of working to build a life for ourselves and our family, retirement finally arrives and we suddenly discover the ground rules have changed. Challenges to senior health lurk around each corner as time starts to take its toll on aging bodies. What used to be such a simple task to bend over to pick up a dropped magazine is now not so easy. Getting out of bed is no longer a matter of simply sitting up – instead we resort to more of a rolling motion to generate the momentum necessary to rise. Entertaining our grandchildren for the afternoon exhausts us and we are only too ready for the parents to return. And walks around the neighborhood become shorter as we may tire more easily. All of these changes take their toll and can lead to frustration in seniors who finally have the time to do what they want to do but increasingly are not physically to able to do so. The mind is willing but the body is not as able as we would like.

Loss of control – while in our prime, we were respected and our opinions valued. People would check in with us first to be sure a course of action met with our approval. Heaven help the miscreant who attempted to impose his will on OUR life without our blessing. Aging again undermines our normal lifestyle as other start making important decisions for us. Family members concerned about our ability to drive may apply pressure to give up our keys and along with that a significant piece of our independence. Everyone is concerned about what we eat and feels free to chastise a little indulgence in front of the rest of the world. And ultimately, if our mental or physical health fails to the point where we cannot safely care for ourselves, others begin discussions and plans for moving us to a retirement home. That respect and independence that we earned through our life fades as those around us make important life decisions for us – for our own good. The loss of control over our own destiny can be dispiriting at best for senior citizens.

Insecurity – the economy is in turmoil, politicians are doing nothing to help us realize a more secure future, and retirees are no longer working so are umable to add to their bottom line. A recent TIAA-CERF study found that 65% say they will not be able to retire in the manner they had hoped to, free to enjoy retired life. 80% do not even know what it takes to save! As discussed in Retirement Fears Confronted, running out of money is a real concern. With our nest egg a fragile thing, feelings and fears of an unpredictable future can weigh on our minds. At a time when we hoped to be financially secure, we often find ourselves more typically than not far from it.

Loneliness – the elderly are all too familiar with how frail life is as friends and family members become ill and pass on. What used to be a long list of friends and acquaintances begins to dwindle and increasingly we are left to our own resources to find entertainment and fulfillment in our retirement. Having a loving spouse may provide that saving anchor but the losses cannot be forgotten or replaced.  The loneliness that results can impact how we invite others into our lives. Is it worth the risk letting someone become close when ultimately we will lose them? Others need to be aware that though we may appear solid at first glance, there are highly charged emotions being dealt with just under the surface that impact our ability to cope.

Acceptance – although frustration, loss of control, insecurity and loneliness can be integral parts of elderly living, our years on earth and the many experiences we have weathered, the highs and the lows we have lived through, all come into play to make us stronger. What does not kill us makes us stronger and at our age, we realize what really matters. We have learned to smile when we do not feel like smiling. We have learned to turn the other cheek and not fight every little battle. We have learned that maintaining a spotless home is not as important as providing a safe playground for children to play. Ultimately, we have learned to accept who we are and the changes that aging entails.

Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing. ~ Rollo May

These variables are part of the chemistry that makes up senior citizens. Our attentiveness can help to understand where the elderly are coming from, to get a little into their head and see things from their perspective. Armed with this, we can hope to better communicate and perhaps commiserate. Our sensitivity may be just what they need to open up, to move beyond personal challenges, and to live the retired life they have always wanted to live.

Dealing with change and challenges is basic to the human condition.  Our attitude and point of view along the journey can give our lives value and bring happiness to those who matter most. We are all entitled to our own point of view. But a little flexibility can go a long way.

Don’t forget to pick up a free copy of my Navigating the Retirement Jungle, available upon request by mailing to lovebeingretired@hotmail.com.