About LoveBeingRetired

Dave Bernard is a California born and raised author and blogger with an extensive 30 year career in Silicon Valley. He has written more than 300 blogs for US News & World On Retirement and his personal blog Retirement – Only the Beginning. He has authored three books: "Are you just existing and calling it a life?"; "I want to retire! Essential Considerations for the Retiree to Be"; and " Navigating the Retirement Jungle". Dave was also a contributing writer for the books 65 Things to do when you Retire (“Positive Aging – Old is the New Young”) as well as 65 Things to do when you Retire – TRAVEL (“Travel to Discover your Family Heritage”). He lives in sunny California with his wife, his Boston Terrier "Frank" and a passion for the San Jose Sharks.

What’s Your Mindset About Retirement?

By Marianne Oehser

Your mindset affects every part of your life. That is especially true about retirement. Your attitudes and beliefs about this time of your life will determine whether you see endless possibilities or whether you buy into some of the negative myths. It will affect your health and your happiness.

Most people choose one of two mindsets about retirement: The Euphoric Mindset or the Gloom-and-Doom Mindset

The Euphoric Mindset

As we approach retirement, most of us are ready to say goodbye to the hectic pace and all the stress that goes with most careers. We are ready to downshift a bit and are excited about enjoying our much earned ‘vacation.’

The retirement picture we create in our minds is often the Hollywood version with lots of excitement but not much clarity. It’s filled with images of things we want to do — travel, golf, tennis, boating, or anything else we have dreamed of doing. And, probably the new toys you want, like a boat. For many of us, that is just how retirement starts and it feels pretty euphoric. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Just like any outstanding vacation, it is not a permanent state. It is simply not realistic to expect the euphoria and the newness to last forever – but somehow, we do it anyway. We think that being on vacation for 20 years will continue to have the same excitement that it had in the beginning. But, it doesn’t – it fades.

The problem with a Euphoric Mindset is that it leads to disappointment. The day will come when all the play is not as much fun as it was in the beginning.

This can create a new kind of stress. Retirement no longer fits your Hollywood image and you don’t know what to do about it. You are no longer sure what you want your days and weeks to be like. You probably feel like you are a bit adrift.

That is when it’s time to get serious about building your Happiness Portfolio®. That means designing your new life so that it is balanced and diversified just like your financial portfolio. Research shows that the people who are the happiest in retirement are those who invest time and energy in all aspects of their life — having fulfilling relationships, enjoying social connections, making a contribution in some way, maintaining your health, enjoying leisure activities, growing as a human being in some way, and incorporating spirituality – whatever that means to you.

If you are looking at retirement with a Euphoric Mindset, by all means keep the mindset that this will be the best time of your life but be realistic about the fact that the honeymoon will end and figure out what you want your life to be like when it does.

The Gloom-and-Doom Mindset

The opposite of the euphoric mindset is the gloom-and-doom mindset. The gloom-and-doom mindset looks at retirement as the end of the line. The story it tells you is that all the good things in your life are over and there is nothing more to look forward to. It tells you that you are being put out to pasture because you are useless. It says that everything is downhill from here and focuses on your own mortality.

One of the big problems with such a negative outlook on this act of your life is that it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you are focused on all of the things that are potentially bad about this new phase, you are not likely to see the endless possibilities for how great your life can be now. This kind of thinking can negatively impact your health and lots of research studies have shown that it probably will. It will definitely turn you into a grumpy person and can lead to serious depression.

Of course, there are some legitimate things that are not so wonderful about this phase of your life. You probably don’t have the boundless energy of your youth. You might fear that you will become ‘irrelevant’ and may not keep up with all of the information and technology changes that will certainly evolve. A whole segment of your social life will disappear including the people you interacted with as part of your career. These things are real but you don’t have to let them take you down a rabbit hole you can’t get out of.

Shifting your mindset to a more positive perspective will allow you to look at things differently. Choosing a story that includes the possibility that there are more positive things ahead will shift your mindset and allow you to see ways to deal with the downsides of life after your career.

Staying stuck in either the euphoric or the gloom-and-doom way of looking at retirement will not serve you very well in the long run.

A Third Option

Carl Jung, Ph.D. was a Swiss psychiatrist and founder of Analytical Psychology who had a profound impact on how we see a wide range of areas today. Dr. Jung offers us another way of looking at this stage of life. He talks about the “afternoon of life.” The morning of our life is focused on achieving things – getting an education, building a career, raising a family, acquiring things, becoming someone. Dr. Jung says the “afternoon of life” is not just a “pitiful appendage to life’s morning” and rather than seeing our afternoon as a process of reduction, he says it is a process of expansion.“The afternoon of life is just as full of meaning as the morning; only, its meaning and purpose are different.”                              

This way of looking at the new chapter of your life suggests that there is much to be savored about it. The afternoon just has a different rhythm than the morning. It may be a time for slowing down a bit but it can still be filled with enthusiasm and activity. It is an opportunity to focus on different things than you did in the morning of your life. It is an opportunity to see new and different possibilities for how you invest your time and energy. It is a time to discover the meaning and purpose of your own afternoon.

It’s time to bask in your afternoon sun.

Your 3 Biggest Retirement Challenges

Retirement should be an amazing time. Prepare to explore new interests, savor quiet moments, experience for the first time the true meaning of stress free, take full advantage of mid-week specials and in general live life in a way that best suits you. What is it like to control how you spend your time, to do what you want when you want? Won’t it be glorious to find out!

We all deserve to live the dream. So how do we?

After a decade of comments from readers, diverse feedback from fellow retirees and lessons learned navigating my own retirement I believe the key to a successful migration from work to a happy retirement is preparation. Don’t hope to just flip a switch and smoothly move to retired life. It takes effort, planning, adaptability, curiosity, perseverance and patience.

Retirement is a transition

Over the years I have heard from many negotiating the passage from fulltime work to fulltime retirement. A common theme is challenges abound. Big changes in lifestyle take time to negotiate. And the move into retirement is a big change.

Who will you be once you exit your career? Many define their essence – who they are – based upon their work role. Leaving that behind can prove confusing and dismaying. The job always sort of told you what you should be doing. Once retired your time is truly your own – do you know what you will do?

When it comes to retirement we have no past experience to draw from. This is the first time we are doing it. You may discover early on that your expectations of how things will be are not exactly on target. Learning to adapt is a valuable skill for the new retiree and the old retiree as well. If one path does not pan out, don’t fret – try another.

The successful retiree asks important questions before retirement arrives, hopefully staying ahead of the game with a little foresight. Answers don’t always come quickly or easily but it is important to ask sooner rather than later.

Get used to the fact it will take time to find your retirement groove.

Retirement can be lonely

No matter how well you prepare there will be moments when you feel alone. I think this is typical at any stage in life but maybe felt a bit more acutely once you retire. Prior to retirement should you find you feel alone you need only wait until Monday to return to the comradery of co-workers. Not so once you retire.

To varying degrees we are all social creatures. While for the most part I happily savor silent moments by myself my wife appreciates more interaction with others. Even I realize without engaging I get a little slow. The old brain loses its resilience. After a few years into retired life I found I needed something more, something stimulating to fire up my routine.

For both of us a part time job fit the bill. The missus keeps active working at a local law firm while I spend three days a week pouring wine. Both of us get the interaction we need and have far better stories to share at the end of the day.

A part time job works for us but may not be your thing. Whatever your remedy retirement is more fun when you share moments with others. There are clubs, volunteer opportunities, mutual interest groups, and neighbors. My wife has a group of friends that regularly get together to hike nearby parks. Keeping active helps avoid boredom. Having someone to share with – ups as well as downs – is rewarding and just plain healthy.

It’s up to you to fashion a unique retirement

We are different people with diverse wants and needs. Each possesses a unique blueprint for what makes us truly happy. In retirement we begin building a foundation for that life best fitted to our individual passions.

What will your retirement look like?

You might discover useful tidbits from current retirees happy to share specifics of their own journey. It helps to know where they experienced challenges – perhaps you can avoid repeating the same. Understanding what works for them might give insight into similar avenues for you.

Plenty of retirement information is available via numerous books and blogs and magazines. Typically you will find useful nuggets of insight to assist in your journey.

But I have found no one else’s retirement is a perfect prescription for me. Decisions of how I want to live, what I want to do, how I want to do it are all uniquely mine. I entered retirement with certain preconceived notions of what to expect. Many proved far from reality. But that is okay.

It is in the ability to adapt and adjust that my retirement has evolved and improved. Today I am at the point where my days are occupied doing things I like. I am no longer driven by a need to succeed but instead just enjoy the moments. My wife and I share common interests but also have our own and we allow each other the freedom to pursue those individual diversions. I look forward to each day free from stress and happy to be alive.

For me that happiness is what a successful retirement is all about. I expect things will continue to evolve as the years add on and my tastes and interests change. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I am curious and optimistic.

Happy retirement!

5 Hacks for Finding Free Things Online

Written by Jessica Peters

We all like to find a freebie when scouring the web. Whether it’s books, gadgets, or coupons, there are tons of free things that you can find once you know where to look. The possibilities are endless, so here are five hacks for finding free things online.

Check Online Community Marketplaces

There are all sorts of online community marketplaces that you can sign up to in order to score yourself a freebie. Whether it’s Craigslist or a Facebook group, these are great resources to use where you can find a plethora of free goods. There are many people who advertise items they want to give away such as appliances, furniture, and toys. While you may have to surf through lots of junk at first, you are bound to find something that will catch your eye. You can also make a list of websites that aggregate free offers.

Sign Up to a Loyalty Program

Many companies provide reward programs for their customers which you can use to your advantage. When you’re looking at a business’s website, be sure to check whether they have a loyalty program available. Many retailers have special perks for their members such as free food, gift cards, movie tickets and more. You may need to sign up to their email newsletter, which can notify you when there is a freebie to be had!

Take Online Surveys

If you have some spare time and are looking for some quick cash, why not take an online survey? Answering questions on websites such as Global Test Market and Swagbucks can provide you with gift cards, money, as well as sweepstakes entries. While taking surveys is straightforward, they can be incredibly time-consuming, and the payout may not be the best, however, the more you do it, the more likely you are to score some fantastic freebies.

Download an App for Freebies

If you have a smartphone, you may not realize just how many rewards and cash-back apps there are available. If you like the idea of being hooked up with some free stuff, be sure to download apps like Shopkick where you can earn points for viewing products online. Once you’ve got enough points, these can be exchanged for gift cards which you can use in plenty of stores such as Starbucks and Target.

Sign Up for a Free Trial

While subscription boxes may be all the rage right now, they can be incredibly expensive. However, if you’re looking to score a freebie, you may benefit from signing up for a free trial. Whether it be free music streaming, meals, snacks, audiobooks and more, many businesses are competing with one another in order to lure customers in, so be sure to take advantage of any free things they have on offer! Streaming services such as Netflix give customers a free one-month trial, however, make sure to mark your calendar so you know when the free trial ends, otherwise, be faced with a surprise charge! Spending some time scouring the internet for free trials may be time-consuming, however, if you know what you’re doing, you should be able to reap up the rewards.

Whether it be taking an online survey, signing up for a free trial, or scouring online community marketplaces to take advantage of free goods and services, there are plenty of things that you can get online for free. However, bear in mind that in order to find the best freebies, you will need to look in all the right places, so as long as you have the motivation and patience, you should scoop up some fantastic freebies.