A good book is like a dear friend. Together you journey through numerous adventures sharing laughter and tears, growing ever closer and at the end glad to have found each other in the world. The whole reading experience can be almost a ritual. We chase down a new work by a favorite author, gather up a drink and maybe a snack, nestle into a comfortable nook in which to read, and with building anticipation fold back the cover to page one.

For many the physical experience of holding a new book and manually turning pages as you progress through the plot is an indispensible part of the romance of reading. But now thanks to technology we are moving away from paper book and entering the realm of electronic or eBooks.

Some seniors remain resistant to the change while younger audiences embrace the new world. Let’s face it there are many advantages of the electronic versions including the ability to link to additional information directly from the text as well as store a library-full of books on a single device.

But is there a replacement for the joy of turning that next page? What about that new book smell? And is there anything more convenient than sticking that paperback into a purse or pocket for easy access when the urge to read strikes us?

When you have possessed a book with mind and spirit you are enriched. But when you pass it on you are enriched threefold. ~ Henry Miller

In this weeks US News & World blog 6 Reasons to Make eBooks Part of your Retirement I take a look at the current state of eBooks to see if the pluses outweigh the minuses for readers of all ages. In the end it remains a matter of personal preference. Have you made a choice yet?

That is the dream, but oftentimes it is not the reality. Many couples launch into retirement without considering one very basic factor – compatibility. Just a few days ago I read a blog post from an individual who was questioning whether he should take off and travel on his own leaving his spouse behind to tend her garden. It struck me as sad, but then I started to think about it. Just as being a successful couple requires a lot of work, being a successful retired couple is equally challenging – maybe even more so, because you probably have not been “just a couple” for a very long time. People change on the way to earning a living and raising a family. Now that you are back to two, adjustments are inevitable.

As a stay at home mom and part-time employee, I was able to cultivate interests beyond the childrearing and household chores, so I was ahead of the game when we sold our family business and retired six years ago. My routine was pretty comfortable and I wanted it to stay that way. My husband however had little leisure time beyond what he devoted to our family so he had not developed any interesting hobbies or favorite past-times to fill his days. We had a rocky beginning as we learned to navigate often turbulent waters, but we learned how to be a successful retired couple.

What we have learned:
1) Hobbies are important (individual and shared) –it’s never too late to learn something new
2) Friends are important (individual and shared) – you will need their support/advice on occasion
3) Too much togetherness can be a bad thing – give each other space
4) It is possible to over plan your time – leave room for spontaneity
5) You absolutely must talk about everything – assuming the other’s opinion is not good enough
6) Strength exercises are a requirement – soft muscles lead to injuries that will slow you down
7) Cardio exercises are a requirement –endorphins are so much better than drugs
Always have plans for the future – it gives you something to look forward to
9) Be kind to each other– less complaints and more compliments create a positive atmosphere
10) Show an interest in each other’s stuff – let him talk politics and he’ll hear your woes about girlfriends
11) Be passionate about everything you do – keeping your mind and body engaged makes you feel younger
12) Pace yourself – trying to do everything you’ve ever dreamed of in one year will wear you out
13) Stick to your budget and have an emergency fund – stuff happens
14) Don’t let someone tell you that you are wasting time – if you love doing it, it’s worthwhile
15) Trust your own formula for retirement – the grass really isn’t greener when you are happy

When the realization hit that I had to adjust to retirement along with my husband things got better for both of us. I made compromises regarding my routine and he developed interests that were exclusively his. Once we settled in to a new way of co-existing we discovered that we had a lot of shared interests and were pretty much on the same page with how to live our lives. We constantly evaluate and make adjustments to the plan but we have a common objective and are committed to each other for the long haul.

As for the guy who is conflicted about traveling alone while his wife spends time in her garden, I sincerely believe that a compromise is possible. Live well – life is good.

Suzanne Vosbikian is a former Human Resources professional/stay at home mom and her husband is a Retired CPA and business owner. They live in Florida full time and love spending time exploring their state and all it has to offer. Their interests include golf, tennis, travel, photography, writing, repurposing objects for their home, cooking and entertaining. You can follow their retirement journey at suzanneandmalcolm.blogspot

But do you know what your spouse is most passionate about? Do you know their thoughts about what retirement should consist of? Do you really have an idea of how the two of you will spend the next twenty to thirty years together without driving each other crazy?

Before the good times get started, you want to be sure you are both on the same page. What one considers the perfect retirement scenario may be far from how your partner sees things. Take the time to discuss and ask each other those important questions before you retire. This preparation will help identify any areas of possible concern as well as help you to see things from the perspective of both of you.

A successful and fulfilling retirement has to work for both of you.

This weeks blog for US News & World asks the important questions to help couples prepare for a fulfilling and happy retirement. Have a read of 7 Questions  Couples Should Ask Before Retirement

I am conducting a survey regarding finding passion in life and would like to ask your help answering three short questions:

(1) What are you most passionate about in your life?

(2) Are you pursuing your passion?

(3) Are you currently retired?

Feel free to be as elaborate or as concise as you want.

You can respond directly to lovebeingretired@hotmail.com or via posting a comment to this message.

In thanks for your time I am more than happy to send you a copy of my free e-Book Navigating the Retirement Jungle if you do not already have it!

NOTE: No names, emails or any private information will be shared anywhere.

I appreciate your help and thank you for your continuing readership.

Dave Bernard

If you are trying to determine a destination for your next travel excursion, you might want to do a bit of research on family members. Look for things like where parents and grandparents were raised and see if you would like to take a trip there to walk a bit in your own personal history. Or figure out the location of historical special family events like proposals or weddings or whatever. Having a personal tie to your destination can make the trip an adventure for all involved.

My blog for this week’s US News & World digs into this idea a bit more in depth to help lay out ways to spice up your travel destination with a bit of personal history. When you have a chance, take a look at Travel to Discover Your Family Heritage.

Then get a map, check out some old photos, do a bit of digging and get ready for a live history lesson of the most important family out there – yours!

Lake Chapala is the largest natural lake in Mexico. The north shore is home to a string of villages, most of which have populations under 10,000 people. Many of those people are either from the US or Canada. In fact, including those of us who live in Guadalajara, this is the largest community of Americans outside the United States.

Eight years ago, I chose to retire in this area because I thought I needed some time to relearn the college Spanish I had lost after many years with no practice. Then I would be ready to live anywhere in Mexico. When I made an exploratory visit, though, I found out that very few of the ’gringo’ residents actually speak Spanish. I was way ahead of the game and it has gotten easier since then.  In the past couple of years, many bilingual Mexicans have returned from up north and they come to places where their knowledge of English is sure to get them jobs.

Taking the First Step

Over the years, I’ve seen many people who come down to visit, fall in love with the area, and buy property during that first trip. Once they are back home, reality sets in and they never come back. That is definitely NOT the way to do things!

It is best to come down for a visit to see if you even like the place. I’d suggest a minimum of a couple months to be sure. If you decide not to move — hey, you’ve had a nice vacation and it wasn’t even very expensive. If you like what you’ve seen and want more, there are a few ways to do it.

Become a Snowbird

Many of the Americans and more than half of the Canadians come down here only part time. Summer up north and winter in Mexico. It’s easy to rent down here, but plan ahead – rentals can be scarce during that popular winter season.

Depending on your budget, you should be able to find a furnished place for $300US a month all the way up to a luxury home on the hillside for a couple thousand. Even if you know you’re ready to move to Mexico, it’s still a good idea to rent at first until you get a feel for the different villages, which are all very different.

Visas

Many people come down with a three- or six-month tourist Visa. They are easy to get and all you have to do is leave the country for a short time to renew and start over. In fact, as a snowbird, you never need anything else.

The longer Visas take a bit more effort, and most people pay a lawyer to handle the process for them. The laws are changing this year and no one knows yet exactly what Congress is likely to approve, but it will probably get easier rather then harder.

Don’t Expect Fantasyland

Many people never adjust to living in Mexico. Many things are just not done here the way they are in the US. Some make more sense than what we are used to and some make no sense at all.  But that’s the way it is and you are not going to change things, so learn to accept it or go back home.

Manana does not mean tomorrow. It means “sometime in the future, if things work out.” In other words, it can take a long time to get anything done. Be patient.

Most of the roads are paved with cobblestones. They are bumpy and uneven, Neither you nor your car will like them very much. They are set in place with sand, which means they come out and create potholes and the sand pulverizes into dust. Everything is dirty during the dry months of April and May.

Sidewalks can be like obstacle courses. You must watch where you are walking at all times or you will hurt yourself.

And there are places that are best to avoid. The drug cartels have made some areas kind of scary, but, fortunately, none of them are anywhere near us. Sure, there is crime here, but no more, and probably less, than many cities in the US or Canada.

Some of The Wonderful Parts

On the other hand, it is still possible to find property at a very good price. We have lots of realtors that would love to show you what’s available.

Having so many retired people around means that there are hundreds of fun volunteer opportunities and practically non-stop partying.

The weather here is pretty near to perfect, but we are spoiled. We complain of the 50 degree cold in January and February and the 90 degree heat in late April and May. And those are the worst days!

It used to be difficult to buy some of the items that many of us weren’t ready to give up. There is one store in town that specializes in importing food items from north of the border. The mark-up is pretty steep, but many people are willing to pay the price.

Things have changed a lot, though. We can now drive into Guadalajara to one of two Costco stores or two Sam’s Clubs. Guadalajara has three Walmarts and we got one of our own at the lake a few years ago. A lot of people didn’t like that idea, but they’re sure shopping there now! The Walmart isn’t exactly like a US store, but it’s better than what we had before. Most of us still shop at the local markets, but it’s nice to know the big places are there when you need them.

And, most important, the Mexican people are wonderful, friendly, helpful, and courteous – the best part of living in Mexico!

Kathy Sterndahl is a writer and quilt artist who was living in Portland, Oregon, when she retired ten years ago at the age of 50 and moved, first to Japan and then to Mexico. She now spends her time writing, traveling, drawing, painting, quilting, and deep-sea fishing. You can read more on her blog, On Early Retirement and http://onearlyretirement.blogspot.com/. 

Social media and the constant connectivity afforded by smart phones and mobile devices has changed the way people behave. Last minute changes to plans are the norm despite the frustration it causes. Practices such as texting while driving continue to consider the safety of others less important than maintaining that 24/7 connectivity to friends.

Baby boomers who are a bit behind the social technology curve for this growing always-available culture will need to learn how to effectively cope with the “connected masses” around them. If not they face frustrating times ahead.

Read more on How to Communicate with Younger Colleagues. 

With these additional years awaiting us, senior citizens need to plan and prepare more than ever if they hope to live fulfilling and exciting retirement lives. Each of us must address financial requirements, health issues, living arrangements, and what we will do to keep busy and engaged as retirees.

It is important to begin planning now while we have time to make adjustments and identify potential problems before they occur. And it is important that we realize it is up to us individually to provide for our retirement and the lifestyle we hope to live.

Senior citizens should not count on others. The ratio of working-age citizens between 15-64 is decreasing across the world. By 2050 the ratio in the US will drop from 5:1 to 3:1 while in Japan it will drop to 1:1. Fewer working citizens to subsidize the needs for seniors makes it increasingly important for us to take care of ourselves.

We need to realistically evaluate our situation. We need to determine what kind of retirement we want and we need to accurately calculate what it will take to get us there based on our own resources. If we cannot get where we hope, we need to make changes now to help us get there or we need to readjust expectations to reflect reality.

This week’s blog in US News & World The Importance of Being Self-Reliant in Retirement takes a deeper look into this topic. As long as we plan and prepare, as long as we accurately evaluate our situation and as long as we are willing to personally take those actions required to get there rather than relying on the government or others, we can hope to experience that fulfilling retirement we deserve.

Enjoy…

The writing is on the wall and we are ever bombarded with warnings of the pending impact. How many articles have you read quoting the 10,000 baby boomers who will reach age 65 each day for the next 20 years? That is a lot of gray!

The numbers are truly mind boggling as the current 40 million senior citizens will grow to 89 million in 2050. The shifting demand created by boomers will impact the supply of limited resources in all aspects of daily life.

What to do?

My blog for the week at US News & World The Baby Boomer Number Game attempts to shed some light on some major areas of concern and discuss how the changing demographics will impact us all. Enjoy and don’t let the numbers scare you too much.

For those who have worked a long, hard and physically challenging career rest and relaxation may be just what is needed in retirement. However for those knowledge workers whose work has been more cerebral versus physical, slowing down in retirement may prevent them from experiencing an engaged, active, and exciting second stage in life.

A fulfilling retirement should not be taken for granted. Excitement and satisfaction with living is typically associated with stretching ourselves, becoming better people and achieving. Few retirees spending the day at the pool or nearby golf course likely describe their day as exciting. Relaxing yes, exciting not so much.

And think of the waste of talent when skilled, experienced and successful people decide to call it quits or retire early. Lost are dedicated and experienced employees, future mentors, and those most versed in espousing the company culture.

There is nothing wrong with retiring from a long and successful career to begin a search for something new. Second careers and pursuit of passions in retired life are good for each of us and benefit the world around us.

But retiring from life with nothing to look forward to except relaxation and escape is short sited. Mortimer Adler a distinguished author and educator said, “retirement conceived as a protracted vacation is a form of prolonged suicide. It marks the first formal stage on the road to oblivion”.

This weeks blog in US News & World Old Does Not Mean Slow visits a group of octogenarians whose engaged and busy retired lives will make you tired just reading about it.

For them retirement is all about GO rather than slow.